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What's big and ugly and drinks out of the wrong side of the glass?
A monster trying to get rid of hiccups.
What's big and ugly and takes aspirins?
A monster with a headache.
Why did the monster dye her hair yellow?
To see if blondes have more fun.
What's big and ugly and wears sunglasses?
A monster on holiday.
What's big and ugly and bounces?
A monster on a pogo stick.
What's big and ugly and found at twenty fathoms?
A monster with an aqualung.
What's big and ugly with red spots?
A monster with measles.
What's big and ugly and has eight wheels?
A monster on roller skates.
What's big and ugly and goes at 125 m.p.h.?
A monster on an Inter-City train.
MRS MONSTER: Will you love me when I'm old and ugly?
MR MONSTER: Darling, of course I do.
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