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Did you hear about my brother who slept with his head under the pillow?
When he woke up, he discovered the fairies had taken all his teeth!
Did you hear about the idiot who found a feather in his bed?
He thought he had chicken pox?
Did you hear about the man who heard a mouse squeaking one night?
He got up to oil it!
Did you hear about the man who plugged his electric blanket into the toaster?
He kept popping out of bed all night!
Did you hear about the man who slept under an old tractor?
He wanted to wake up oily in the morning.
Did you hear about the parents who called their baby 'Caffeine?'
It kept them awake all night!
Do elephants snore?
Only when they're asleep.
'Doctor, doctor, how can I cure myself of sleepwalking?'
'Put drawing-pins on the bedroom floor.'
'Doctor, doctor, I can't get to sleep at night.'
'Lie on the edge of the bed, then, and you'll soon drop off.'
'Doctor, doctor, I haven't slept for days.'
'Why not?'
"Because I sleep at night!'
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