|'Doctor, doctor, I wake up feeling terrible! My head spins and the room goes round and round!'
'You must be sleeping like a top!'
|'Doctor, doctor, I walk in my sleep!'
'Remember to take money for the bus, then!'
|Doctor, doctor, I'm always dreaming about cricket.'
'Don't you ever dream about girls?'
'What? And miss my innings?'
|How can you shorten a bed?
Don't sleep long on it.
|How can you tell if there's an elephant under your bed?
When the bed touches the ceiling.
|How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
|How do you know if there's an elephant in your bed?
By the big E on his pyjamas.
|How do you know when someone is sleeping like a log?
When you hear them sawing.
There are peanut shells all over the bed.
|'I want a divorce.'
'My wife smokes in bed.'
It's not that bad, is it?'
'Yes it is. She smokes kippers!'