|Did you hear the story about the germ?
Never mind. I don't want it spread all over.
|How can you keep from getting a sharp pain in your eye when you drink chocolate milk?
Take the spoon out of the glass.
|How can you tell if a bucket is not well?
When it is a little pale (pail).
|How can you tell if a mummy has a cold?
He starts coffin.
|How can you tell if you are cross-eyed?
When you see eye-to-eye with yourself.
|How did the bread feel when it was put in the toaster?
It was burned up.
|How did the clock feel when no one wound it up?
|How did the kid get a flat nose?
His teacher told him to keep it to the grindstone.
|How did the skeleton know it was raining?
He could feel it in his bones.
|How do you know that army sergeants have a lot of headaches?
Because they always yell, "Tension!"