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"Where did Abraham Lincoln live?"
"I have his Gettysburg Address right here!"
A man who worked in the butcher shop was 6 feet tall, had red hair and wore size 11 shoes. What did he weigh?
Meat.
Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
No, they had an apple.
Dogs have fleas. What do sheep have?
Fleece.
How can you make a soup rich?
Add 14 carrots (carats) to it.
How can you make any watch a stopwatch?
Don't wind it.
How can you make money fast?
Glue it to the floor.
How can you tell when there is an elephant in your sandwich?
When it is too heavy to lift.
How do you fit five elephants into a Volkswagen?
Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.
How do you make a Venetian blind?
Stick a finger in his eye.
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