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What is purple and 5,000 miles long?
The Grape Wall of China.
What is red and goes up and down?
A tomato in an elevator.
What is the best way to cure someone who walks in his sleep?
Put tacks on the floor.
What is the best way to eat spaghetti?
First, open your mouth.
What is the best way to get rid of flies?
Sign up some good outfielders.
What is the best way to make pants last?
Make the jacket first.
What is the best way to prevent milk from turning sour?
Leave it in the cow.
What is the difference between an umbrella and a person who never stops talking?
The umbrella can be shut up.
What is the difference between twice twenty-two and twice two and twenty?
One is 44, the other is 24.
What is the most important use for cowhide?
It helps keep the cow together.
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