Did you hear about
the fool you keeps going around saying "no" ? No
Oh, so it's you !
I don't think these
photographs you've taken do me justice. You
don't want justice - you want mercy !
How do you stop a cold
getting to your chest ?
Tie a knot in your neck !
What steps would you
take if a madman came rushing at you with a knife ?
Great
big ones !
"Tell me"
said the tourist to the local yokel. "Will this path take me to the main
road ?"
"No sir !", replied the man. "You'll have
to go by yourself !"
Why are you covered
in bruises ?
I
started to walk through a revolving door and I changed my mind !
Why do you keep doing
the backstroke ?
I've just had lunch and don't want to swim on a full
stomach !
Your ugly.
And
you're drunk.
Yes, but in the morning
I'll be sober !
This morning my dad
gave me soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.
I bet you were mad.
Mad ?, I was foaming at the mouth !
Why is it not safe
to sleep on trains ?
Because
they run over sleepers !
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