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Why did the chicken cross the road according to...
Immanuel Kant: The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Capt. James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
L.A. Police Department: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Stan Laurel: I'm sorry, Ollie. It escaped when I opened the run.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
John Locke: Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.
Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.
Groucho Marx: Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.
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