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What is a dog's favourite tree?
The dogwood.
What is black and white and red all over?
A Dalmatian with a bad sunburn.
What is taller when it sits down than when it stands up?
A dog.
What is the difference between a barking dog and an umbrella?
The umbrella can be shut up.
What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox?
If you don't know you must lose a lot of mail.
What is worse than a dog howling at the moon?
Two dogs howling at the moon.
What looks like a dog, sounds like a dog, eats like a dog, but isn't a dog?
A pup.
What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails?
A retail store.
What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?
Sleep on the sofa.
What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog wearing your favourite tie?
Go see a doctor. You have been seeing too many 500-pound dogs lately.
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