Jokes about boys

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A man sat playing chess with a huge, hairy, purple monster in a pub. A stranger came in and sat down and in amazement watched them playing. When they had finished the game he came over.
'I'm a movie producer,' he explained as he introduced himself. 'Your monster could make a fortune in Hollywood.'
The man just shrugged. ' He's not that clever,' he said dismissively, 'I've just beaten him three times in the last four games.'

A boy went into the local department store where he saw a sign on the escalator - 'Dogs must be carried on this escalator.'
The boy then spent the next tow hours looking for a dog.

Two boys went into a very dark, spooky cave. 'I can't see a thing,'said one.
'Hold my hand.' said the other.
'OK,' The first boy reached out.
'Take off that horrible cold dank glove first though'
'But I'm not wearing a glove ......'

1st ghoulish fiend: I had a nice man to dinner last.
2nd ghoulish fiend: So you enjoyed having him ?
1st ghoulish fiend: Oh, yes, he was delicious !

A boy at a swimming pool climbed up to the high diving board. He paused, lifted his arms, and was about to dive when the attendant came running up, shouting, 'Don't dive - there's no water in that pool ! '
'That's OK,' said the boy. 'I can't swim ! '
Dad, there's a man at the door collecting for the new swimming pool.'
'Give him a glass of water !'
'You boy !' called a policeman.' Can you help ? We're looking for a man with a huge red nose called Cotters......'
'Really ?' said the boy. 'What're his ears called ?'

'May I have some two-handed cheese, please ?' a boy in a restaurant asked the waiter.
'What do you mean 'two-handed cheese' ?'asked the waiter.
'Yes, the kind you eat with one hand and hold your nose with the other.'

'What's your new perfume called ?' a young man asked his girlfriend.
'High Heaven', she replied.
'I asked what it was called, not what it smells like !'

A boy with a newt on his shoulder walked into a library. 'What do you call him ?' asked the librarian.
'Tiny,' said the boy.
'Why do you call him 'Tiny' ?'
'Because he's my newt !'

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