birthday jokes

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Teacher: "The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. True or false?"
Student: "False! It was written in ink!"
Why did Washington win the battle of Trenton?
Because the enemy soldiers were Hessian around!
What would you get if you crossed a monster with one of Washington's officers?
Baron von Steupid!
What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?
Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer!
What march would you play at a jungle parade?
"Tarzan Stripes Forever"!
What would you get if you crossed a monster with a redcoat?
A bigger target.
Why did the British soldiers wear red coats?
So they could hide in the tomatoes.
Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?
Because they're both cracked!
Teacher: "Who wrote `Oh say, can you see?"'
Student: "An eye doctor?"
How is a healthy person like the United States?
They both have good constitutions!
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