birthday jokes

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"I can't be your valentine for medical reasons."
"Really?"
"Yeah, you make me sick!"
What did the boy pig say to the girl pig?
"I'm hog wild about you!"
What did one calculator say to the other?
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!"
What did one bell say to the other?
"Be my valenchime!"
What happened when the monster kissed his one true love?
He left lip prints on the mirror!
What did one monster say to the other?
"Be my valenslime!"
Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
She didn't suit his taste!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like a great big kiss?
Then there was the guy who promised his girlfriend a diamond for Valentine's Day.
So he took her to a baseball park!
What do you get when dragons kiss?
Third degree burns of the lips!
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