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'I'd like to buy a new bed, please.'
:'Certainly, sir. Spring mattress?
'Oh, no. I'd like to use it all the year round.'
'My bed's too short and every night my feet freeze because they stick out from under the covers.'
'Why don't you curl up so you can put your feet under the covers?'
'What? I'm not putting those cold things in bed with me!'
Shall I tell you the joke about the bed?
I can't: it hasn't been made up yet!
What did Sir Lancelot wear to bed?
A knight-gown.
What did the cannibal say when he saw a sleeping missionary?
'Oh, yummy! Breakfast in bed!'
What does a cat rest its head on when it goes to sleep?
A caterpillar.
What does one good turn do for you?
Give you all the blankets.
What happened when my brother dreamed he was eating a giant marshmallow?
When he woke up, his pillow had gone! And he was a little down in the mouth . . .
What has four legs, but only one foot?
A bed.
What horse sleeps only at night?
A nightmare.
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