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What's the laziest letter of the alphabet?
E - because it's always in bed.
When is it proper to go to bed with your shoes on?
When you're a horse.
Where do baby monkeys sleep?
Apri-cots.
Where do bed-lovers live?
Bedford.
Where do strawberries sleep?
In strawberry beds.
'Why are you late for work?'
'There are eight of us in the family, but the alarm clock was set for seven.'
Why did idiot put his bed in the fireplace?
Because he wanted to sleep like a log.
Why did my brother take his bicycle to bed with him?
Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep.
Why did my brother throw away his alarm clock?
It kept going off when he was asleep.
Why did my dad lose his job in the mattress factory?
He fell awake on the job.
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