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Why did the bed spread?
Because it saw the pillow slip.
Why did the composer write music in bed?
He wrote sheet music.
Why did the gangster cut the legs off his bed?
He wanted to lie low for a while.
Why did the idiot take a tape measure to bed withhim?
To see how long he slept.
Why did the jockey take hay to bed?
To feed his nightmares.
Why did the man climb on to the chandelier?
Because he was a light sleeper.
Why didn't the banana snore?
It was afraid it would wake up the rest of the bunch.
Why do people go to bed?
Because the bed won't go to them.
'Why do you comb your hair before going to bed?'
dozy: 'To make a good impression on the pillow.'
Why is a river lazy?
It never leaves its bed.
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