A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of a patient.
"Do you ever hear voices without being able to tell who is speaking or where
the voices are coming from?" asked the psychiatrist.
"As a matter of fact, I do," said the patient. "And when does this happen?" asked the psychiatrist.
"Oh," said the patient, "when I answer the telephone."
Receptionist: Hello? Doctors office. May I help you?
Caller: Yes! I feel funny. What should I do? Receptionist: Try to get on television.
What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you?
A phone moan.
What did the big ape say when he dialed incorrectly?
"Oops! King Kong ring wrong."
How does a skeleton make calls?
On a bone phone!
How does a baboon make phone calls? He just monkeys around on the line!
How does a barber make phone calls?
He cuts them short.
What do you get if you cross a telephone with an iron? A smooth operator!
What kind of music do phones love to hear?
Why does an octopus need so many phones? So it can reach out and touch someone!