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Why couldn't anyone play cards on the ark?
Because Noah sat on the deck.
Why did the boy get a dachshund?
Because his favourite song was, "Get Along Little Dogie."
Why did the comedian tell jokes to the eggs?
He wanted to crack them up.
Why did the elephant paint himself all different colours?
So he could hide in the crayon box.
Why did the football player marry the girl?
Because he thought she would be faithful to the end.
Why did the girl call herself an experienced actress?
She broke her leg and was in a cast for six months.
Why did the kid put a flashlight on his stomach?
He wanted to watch bellyvision (television).
Why did the kid put his head on the piano?
Because he wanted to play by ear.
Why did the little kid dance on the jar of jam?
Because the top said, "Twist to open."
Why did the mother put her baby on the phonograph?
It had an automatic changer.
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