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What word grows smaller when you add two letters to it?
Add "er" to short and it becomes shorter.
When does a mouse weigh as much as an elephant?
When the scale is broken.
When is a boat cheapest?
When it is a sail (sale) boat.
When is a miniskirt long?
When a midget wears it.
When the biggest elephant in the world fell into a 30-foot well, how did they get it out?
Wet.
When was beef at its highest?
When the cow jumped over the moon.
Where can you find the largest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Where is the headquarters for the Umpire's Association?
The Umpire (Empire) State Building.
Which American had the biggest family?
George Washington, because he was the father of his country.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
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