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What has fifty legs but can't walk?
Half a centipede.
What is a drill sergeant?
An army dentist.
What is a sick crocodile?
An alligator.
What is better than presence of mind in an automobile accident?
Absence of body.
What is the best thing to take when you're run over?
The number of the car that hit you.
What is the best way to cure acid indigestion?
Stop drinking acid.
What is the best way to lose weight?
Learn to play the piano, and you can pound away all you want.
What is the difference between a boxer and a man with a cold?
A boxer knows his blows, a man with a cold blows his nose.
What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold?
One knows the stops, the other stops the nose.
What is the difference between a hill and a pill?
A hill is hard to get up, a pill is hard to get down.
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