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What nuts give you a cold?
Cachoo (cashew) nuts.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis (bronc-itis).
What would happen if you swallowed uranium?
You would get atomic ache (a stomach ache).
What would you call a small wound?
A short cut.
When a girl slips on the ice, why can't her brother help her up?
He can't be a brother and assist her (a sister) too.
When do you have acute pain?
When you own a very pretty window.
When don't you feel so hot?
When you catch a cold.
When is the best time to buy a thermometer?
In the winter, because then it is lower.
When is the vet busiest?
When it rains cats and dogs.
When they take out an appendix, it's an appendectomy; when they remove your tonsils, it's a tonsillectomy. What is it when they remove a growth from your head?
A haircut.
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