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If two people had a race and one had sand in his shoe but the other did not, who would win?
The one with the sand in his shoe-if it was quicksand.
If you were swimming in the ocean and a big alligator attacked you, what should you do?
Nothing. There are no alligators in the ocean.
If your watch is broken, why can't you go fishing?
Because you don't have the time.
If you're crazy about chess, why should you keep away from squirrels?
Because squirrels eat chestnuts (chess nuts).
Two baseball teams played a game. One team won but no man touched base. How could that be?
Both were all-girl teams.
Two men were playing checkers. They played five games, and each man won the same number of games. How is that possible?
They played different people.
What colour is a cheerleader?
Yeller (yellow).
What did one fish say to the other?
"If you keep your big mouth shut, you won't get caught."
What did one grape say to the other grape?
"If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be in this jam."
What did one horse say to the other horse?
"I forget your name but your pace (face) is familiar."
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