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Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?
Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
Why shouldn't you listen to people who have just come out of the swimming pool?
Because they are all wet.
Why shouldn't you tell a joke while you are ice skating?
Because the ice might crack up.
Why was Adam known to be a good runner?
He was the first in the human race.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the baseball team?
Because she ran away from the ball.
Why was the mummy sent into the game as a pinchhitter?
With a mummy at bat, the game would be all wrapped up.
Why was the skeleton a coward?
Because he had no guts.
Why wasn't the elephant allowed on the aeroplane?
Because his trunk was too big to fit under the seat.
Why were the elephants the last animals to leave the ark?
They had to pack their trunks.
Women don't have it and don't want it. Men get it, think it's a good thing but they often try to get rid of it. What is it?
A beard.
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