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Why did they throw the elephants out of the swimming pool?
Because they couldn't hold their trunks up.
Why didn't horses like Theodore Roosevelt?
Because he was a rough rider.
Why do ducks look so sad?
When they preen their feathers, they get down in the mouth.
Why do good bowlers play so slowly?
Because they have time to spare.
Why do skeletons drink a lot of milk?
Because it is good for the bones.
Why do turkeys eat so little?
Because they are always stuffed.
Why do you run faster when you have a cold?
You have a racing pulse and a running nose.
Why don't sheep have much money?
Because they're always getting fleeced.
Why is a scrambled egg like a losing ball team?
Because both are beaten.
Why is an airline pilot like a football player?
They both want to make safe touchdowns.
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