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How does a coffee pot feel when it is hot?
Perky.
How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed?
Depressed.
How does a witch tell time?
With a witch watch.
How many letters are there in the alphabet?
Eleven. T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A phew (few).
If cheese comes on top of a hamburger, what comes after cheese?
A mouse.
If Washington's wife went to Washington while Washington's washerwoman washed Washington's woolies, how many W's are there in all?
None. There are no W's in "all."
If you cross a telephone and a lobster what will you get?
Snappy talk.
If you cross a telephone and a pair of scissors, what do you get?
Snippy answers.
In a certain city there is a corner with four stores. One is a bakery, one a candy store, one a drugstore, and one a bookstore. Outside the drugstore is a policeman. Why is the policeman called Oscar?
Because that is his name.
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