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Teacher : Simon, can you spell your name backwards ?
Simon : No Mis
Teacher : The word politics - can you give me an example of how to use it ?
Pupil : My parrot swallowed a watch and now Polly ticks !

Teacher : Where does your mother come from ?
Pupil : Alaska !
Teacher: Don't worry, I'll ask her myself !

Teacher : What is the most common phrase used in school ?
Pupil : I don't know
Teacher: Correct !

Teacher : Why are you the only child in the classroom today ?
Pupil : Because I was the only one who didn't have school dinners yesterday !

Father: Well Son, how are your exam results ?
Son: They're under water
Father: What do you mean ?
Son: Below "C" level !
Teacher : In the exam you will be allowed 30 minutes for each question.
Pupil : How long for the answer sir !
Teacher : What are you doing, crawling into school ten minutes late ?
Pupil : Well you told me never to walk into school ten minutes late !
Teacher: Do you want to borrow a pocket calculator ?
Pupil: No thanks I know how many pockets I have !
Teacher : How do you know that carrots are good for your eyes ?
Pupil : I've never seen a rabbit wearing glasses !
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